Well. It seemed a fine weekend to make my first roast turkey ā€“ a “practice turkey,” if you will. Everyone told me how easy it is and not to worry about it, but I’m really glad we tried it. It WAS easy, but there were a lot of details to iron out. Little insignificant snafus that would have had me seem a tad out of control.

Here are the lessons I (and MS) learned.

1. You sure do need a good 3, 4 days for it to defrost. No lies there. (Buy the bird early).

2. Move the refrigerator tiers around and reorganize the fridge BEFORE you attempt to load it with a turkey in a 5-gallon bucket. (Self-explanatory).

3. Um. Make sure you have a 5-gallon bucket. (Fortunately, we did).

4. It’s SUPER GROSS sticking your hand in the bird and taking out the neck. (I freaked out and had to get MS to fish for the giblets).

5. Um. They don’t just give you the neck. There ARE giblets in a bag. (They were near the neck).

5a. It is OK if you cook the bird with the giblet bag in the bird. (Haha. That’s why I didn’t fish too long for the giblets. A few friends said they had done it and no harm, no fowl. Get it? Foul. ;})

6. Keep all the fans blowing in case the place gets smoky. (It turns on the smoke detectors and scares the cats).

7. Butter will be better. (I used olive oil – canola was recommended, but I didn’t feel like buying it yet – to coat the bird, but I forgot the smoking point wasn’t high enough, hence the smoke. Or maybe it was the giblet bag?! Haha).

8. Metal things that come out of the oven are definitely hot. (The handle for the rack came off when I was putting on the metal foil tent to protect the breast. MS said he could put it back on. I said: “Careful, that was just in a 500 degree oven.” MS proceeds to pick it up with bare hands. Ouch.

9. The remote thermometer is awesome!

10. We have to purchase a carving knife. (Thought we had one. But MS did dandy with another knife.)

11. Last, but not least, Alton Brown is awesome. (From beginning to end, good tips all around. MS even watched his video on how to carve the bird).

12. Turkey is delicious. (OK. I knew that one already).

MS wanted me to post pictures of not only the beautiful bird, but the carnage that was left over after he carved it. Faint hearts beware.

bird1

bird2

carcass1

carcass2

So there you have it. Now our guests don’t need to worry so much. The bird will be a success!

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